News, Actually

Dear Friends, Strangers, and Sentient Malware,

Big things are on the horizon.

I can't quite reveal explicit details yet. But like some of my favorite characters, I'm really into clues, games, and riddles. So here are some hints.

1. I'm going to be receiving some exciting mail next week. How exciting? In ascending order: actually, truly, incredibly, massively. 

2. Very soon, people will appear on my behalf where it is has thus far been impossible for humans to actually exist. 

3. By the end of the month, I will make my biggest announcement yet. NBD... BNB.

Can you figure them out before I let the cats out of the bags?